i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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