is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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