So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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