She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
