Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
