can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
