Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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