I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
