is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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