You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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