yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
