I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
