Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
