That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
