Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
