hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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