oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
