My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
