I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
