Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
either way he was missing a nipple.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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