did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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