Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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