Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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