the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
