i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
