i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
