White coat. Heels.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
