Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
