The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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