I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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