2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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