1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
