dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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