I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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