two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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