My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize