If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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