That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
