I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Fuck appropriateness.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
