At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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