plz talk dirty to me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's just like the Real World with babies
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
