Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
