Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
