we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
