that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
