So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
