i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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