There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
