Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
