He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I am naked and annoyed.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
we should paint friendship bongs
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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