oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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