And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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