i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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