Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
