You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
