my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
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