JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
