The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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