No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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