I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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